by KimberlyPeeler-RingerR3 Contributor
Have you
ever been watching a newscast, learned some awful crime has happened and images
flash across the screen of news photographers rushing to line up and catch
those first shots of the perpetrator? News producers call that the “perp walk.”
I’ve seen probably hundreds of perp walks. Now raise your hand if you’ve ever
prayed the silent prayer, “please don’t let the perp be a Black person.” This speaks
to some real feelings of shame we are expected to feel when somehow, a single
person represents an entire race of people. If I had a dollar for every time
I’ve had to defend all of Black womanhood to some brotha who had a single
encounter with a sista who was loud, obnoxious, and whose only goal in life was
having a man with money, I could retire today. In style.
I was
all set to experience something similar when I heard there was going to be a
reality show portraying the lives of pastor’s wives, The Learning Channel’s The Sisterhood. After all, the odds of
being ashamed by a reality show are in my favor, right? Reality shows that
prominently feature Black women are not necessarily known for their flattering
images of Black womanhood. The message these shows seem to yell at us from the
screen is that Black women cannot get
along with each other. So yes, I will admit a slight feeling of dread about
The Sisterhood. After I watched the
first four episodes, my dread meter was off the charts...but not for the reasons
you might think.
The featured wives on The Sisterhood seem to have been
selected at least partially because they do not represent typical Christian church
pastors and their wives. The show is set in the Bible belt of Atlanta, Georgia,
and follows the lives of Ivy;
married to Mark, the pastor of the Emmanuel Tabernacle, Christina; married to Anthony, the
pastor of the Oasis Family Life
Church, Tara; married to Brian,
the pastor of the Phenomenal Life Church
(these two were asked to leave a church for reasons yet unclear); and Domonique; married to Scott, former
pastor of the Good Life Church (it was
explained in the first episode that their church had to close its doors for
financial reasons and this is apparently putting some strain on their marriage);
and DeLana, married to Myles, the
pastor of the Worship With Wonders
Church.
Although
the churches themselves are not exclusively Black churches, they do appear to
be evangelical churches. The Sisterhood
seems to have gone out of its way to be both multicultural and fashionable. At
first glance, The Sisterhood seems to
be a blend of evangelical Christianity with Bravo’s Real Housewives of Atlanta or VH1’s Love and Hip Hop. As Christina says, “I am not the typical first
lady who sits in the front pew and wears a big hat.” As she puts it, she is “number
two in command” at the Oasis Family Life Church. The wardrobe on the show seems to back up
Christina’s claim that they are not “typical first ladies,” because they wear
leather, stiletto heels, have tattoos, body piercings, and wear body conscious
clothing with larger than life accessories.
This show has generated quite a bit
of conversation—even outrage—since its debut on Jan. 1. After I watched the
first episode, all I could do is scratch my head and wonder what the big deal
is. The show has its problems, to be sure. But for me the show’s problem have
less to do with the scathing indictments from people who feel the show is
“unrealistic” (and what reality show is
realistic?), and more to do with the fact that certain persons are outraged
because the show may cast a negative light on the Black church.
The
Examiner.com quotes Marvin Sapp as saying: “Let's pray for those who are on the
show, as the show begins to move forward, that there is some discernment and
discretion that comes forth. Why? Because there are certain things that the
world does not need to see, know and understand about the church.” These words speak
of a real need by some to hold the church in a pristine light without blemish
or stain. Some people think that the church should always be presented in a
positive light no matter what. However, having grown up in the church, I also
get that not everyone’s experience of church is a positive one. Just ask some
of our same gender loving brothers and sisters. Or ask anyone who has had
children without the benefit of marriage. For some, the church has been a place
where more shaming than transforming took place. The conversation where we
acknowledge that both of these realities exist in our churches is long overdue.
And
therein lies the rub. Apparently it is not a problem to show Black women in a
negative light, but it becomes a huge problem once that light is shone on the
church. Reality shows routinely bombard us with negative images of women, should
we even be surprised that this lens has now turned to the place where women are
nearly always the majority—the church?
And where
was all this concern about negative images of women when Flavor of Love was one of the highest rated shows on VH1? I’m still
trying to figure out The Bad Girls Club,
and there seems to be a sista with issues on every episode of My Shopping Addiction or My Strange Addiction. The sad truth is there
has been very little formal backlash about the content of these reality shows.
Instead, we watch them. These shows would not be making money if they did not
have loyal viewers. And the stereotypes about Black women equal big profits for
the networks that broadcast these shows. There have been very few complaints
from the Black community about the reinforcement of images of Black women as
the sharp-tongued Sapphire, the oversexed Jezebel, and the angry Black women not
to mention someone is taking these images all the way to the bank.
So
rather than bash the show for following the highly profitable reality show
format (the only difference here is that the pastors’ wives get together,
argue, get together to apologize for arguing, and then argue some more) let’s talk
about what the hoopla is really about: the masks we wear. Interestingly enough,
revelation is problematic in the church. Most of the complaints about this show
condemn it for revealing too much. These
are, after all, church ladies whose only conversation about the Bible so far
was to admonish Tara for quoting it too much. Maybe Marvin Sapp is upset about
the sex toys Ivy and Mark admitted to using…as well their glee when describing
how active their sex life is. And let’s not even start on Pastor Anthony’s
condom demonstration for his daughters, because after all, if you are going to
sin, sin smart, right?
In the
second episode, “Thou Shalt Not Jump to Judgment,” Domonique made the following
statement: “as a preacher’s wife I feel like there is this expectation that you
have to be a strong Christian…so to be struggling with so many issues? It’s
definitely going to be seen as a weakness.”
People
in positions of power are often invested in keeping things as they are, and
some would prefer not to upset the balance of power in some churches. Whether
churches are conservative or liberal, traditional or progressive, women make up
the majority of membership yet hold few places of leadership and/or authority.
The Sisterhood simply reminds us of those
elements of the church we wish not to deal with and would rather romanticize
than deal with. The Sisterhood
reveals there is jealousy in the church, that there is gossip in the church,
that there is intolerance in the church, and that there is judgment in the
church. But rather than give us a bird’s eye view about the myriad ways the
church has failed women, I would love to see the women featured on The Sisterhood have a conversation about
how they can best affirm the women in their own churches, and likewise each
other.
Ivy,
Christina, Tara, DeLana and Domonique as a sisterhood do not represent all of
the complexities that come with being married to a pastor. But they could
certainly get the conversation ball rolling about why so many churches avoid
conversations about how the majority of the congregation—its women—are faring
in and out of the pews.





